The Audacity Blog

You feel like a burden every time you ask for help. So you don't. You carry it, you figure it out, you exhaust yourself and the ask never gets sent. That story you're living inside isn't yours. It got built around you.

"I just don't want to be mean about it." So you explain. And soften. And by the time you're done, the boundary has completely disappeared. Directness isn't mean...you've just never been shown the difference.

Setting a boundary and immediately feeling like a terrible person? You're not alone and the guilt doesn't mean what you think it means. Here's what's actually going on beneath it.

People-pleasing behavior isn’t always obvious and it doesn’t always look like being agreeable. Sometimes it looks like constant self-improvement. Sometimes it looks like anger. Sometimes it looks like overanalyzing every conversation until you’re exhausted. Here’s what people-pleasing actually is, and what it really looks like.

You've been told that rest will fix it. That a few days off will reset you. But if people-pleasing behavior is at the root of your burnout, a vacation isn't going to touch it. Here's what's actually happening and what to do instead.